Being Poly Isn't a Cop-Out

One of the most common reactions to my assertion that I am Polyamorous is the look of astonishment coming from a person who assumes that means that I believe I can have sex with anyone I want, without any cares for the other relationships I have. The prevailing thought is that Poly-folk are looking for a way to excuse bad behavior in the past, to cover up being promiscuous or unfaithful in a relationship. Often, someone Poly is considered to be a slut or a womanizer.

Indeed, there are some who fall into the category of Polyamorous who act in such a manner, choosing lovers and romances without concern about how their actions affect others.

However, I aspire to the ideal of Ethical Polyamory - which means that I believe that I should not enter into relationships without the consent of all affected - my Primary, any others I am involved with, and the prospective new partner. Anyone who has a relationship with me, sexually or romantically, is going to affect the others I love, and they are going to be affected by those I love, in turn.

It is also important that I do not lead others to be misled about myself - just as I would not want others to lie to me. Love is based upon trust, and when trust is violated, love withers and tends to die. Love based upon lies is built upon a tar pit for a foundation, and is doomed more likely to fail than succeed, no matter the intensity of the passion.

As Poly, I do believe that every person in my relationship structure has the right to choose whether they wish one or more lovers. It is not a matter of having multiple lovers. It is the ability to make that choice as each person sees fit.

That is why I will always identify as Poly, no matter whether I am in a monogamous relationship, a Triad, or any other form or relationship.

Because love divided is not diminished - how can something infinite be?

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Take This

Take my guilt,

there's plenty

I owe, and

to spare.

Take my heart,

for there's nothing

left inside,

for any to care.

Take my pride,

for it's been lost

years ago when I chose

to stay and fight on.

Take my hope,

for any of it

for our better lives

is dead and gone.

Take my future,

because all it is

is a litany

of unending strife.

Take my validity,

because nothing else

matters to you

but your unyielding self.

Take it all,

there is nothing left

but what you take,

and that stays till death.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

My Responsibility

It is my choice

to stay and fight on,

though every cell says

I should be long gone.

It is my debt

I have chosen to pay,

and so I remain

day after day.

It is my love

that is never believed,

because how do obligations

come into being?

It is my responsibility

to be your husband,

which I strive to be,

unsuccessfully.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Permanent Impermanence

When love is as impermanent
as frail blades of grass,
how can we say
our passions are forever?
Or is that an illusion?
Is it the only constant
as we travel the wheel
of impermanence in life?

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Transitory

Such an illusion,
this invincibility
we assume for ourselves.
A supremacy,
proven to be a facade
when life forces us
to realize exactly
the fragility
of the breath of life
that brings
a vital spark
to our leaden flesh.
This shock
to the unwilling,
our view
of self-importance
dispelled by the reality
of how transitory
our corporeality
truly is...

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Inconceivable

There is no way
to predict the touch
of fate upon the heart.
It cares nothing about status,
body type or distance,
differences in age
or other factors.
Instead,
the arrows
of blind Cupid
can bond the most
unlikely of souls,
making a romance
that was truly
inconceivable.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Unseen Spectres

Tell me again,
from the where and when
of everything, then
explain to my ears
the battle of tears
lasting thru the years
of faith and fears.

Neither seen,
razor-edges keen,
from the child we wean
to the aged, who lean
to keep upright.

How can we separate
what we cannot incorporate
into our senses, disparate,
making us desperate?

The fears of faithful
addressed by the prayerful,
but never assuaged
to drive demons away.

But yet our dreads
often rear their heads,
creeping into our beds
and stealing our dreams.
They differ, or so it seems...

Both the gleams
of evidence unseen,
but we draw what our lives mean
from between
these influences.

Many a man
bases his plan
on the material, what he can
sense and prove.

He denies faith's power,
says it's facts' hour,
that the religious cower
behind superstitions that tower
over the hard reality
of what we can see.
Yet that man, he
lets his terrors free
to torment and bully
him into choices
not based on cold truth.

So don't chastise
one whose faith guides closed eyes,
for they see no disguise,
can evade sensory lies,
and follow a vision
that denies the division
between the spheres.
For their faith sees clear,
just as do your fears.

Both as spectral as each other,
alike, yet dissimilar
as sister and brother.

(c) 2017 Tortured Cyclone

Serendipitous

Sometimes,
your life intersects
with another's,
where the bonds between
seem to have always been,
but not known till now.
A lover from some life before?
Your unknown soulmate,
at last at your door?
Or mere chance,
bringing two together
whose souls dovetail
like puzzle pieces meant
to come together.
But then, too soon,
you two are reft,
and you are left
with questions.
Was it too late?
Too soon?
Merely a fantasy
that should never
have bloomed?
A dress rehearsal
for another life's destiny?
I may never know...
So I rage against
serendipity,
although it brought you
to me.
For it took you away,
and the place you made
in the depths of my heart
remains empty,
a wound unhealing,
bittersweet agony.
The contradictive irony
is the fact
I'd do it all over again,
knowing the end,
dancing the same steps
from one life to the next,
and I'll love you
forever.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Cuffs and Collars

One of society's misperceptions about the D/s lifestyle is that it is all about illicit acts. Here's a terrific blog about a woman and her Master, who just happens to also be her husband!

cuffscollars.wordpress.com

The blog is always an interesting read, and worth it, if you're not too straightlaced for it.

Paparazzi Poet

You never forget your aim,
to find someone to blame
for the degenerating shame
of the wars of digital flame
you gleefully ignite,
spreading chaos and lies in your wake,
telling others to awake,
that evils threaten, their wills to break,
to ostracize, for fuck's sake,
torturing the mark for each mistake
they are goaded to make
by your convoluted plot
to make tempers hot,
when they respond, they're caught,
and their disgrace is wrought,
as you delete the cause,
the inflammatory attacks
that pushed them till their backs
were against the wall,
and you keep pushing til they fall,
because their reputation, you'll maul,
and their followers, appall
with your savagery.
But your game isn't fixed,
and the outcomes are mixed,
for they know your tricks,
and they stand proud,
ranks composed,
faces severe, silent,
waiting for the moment
when you go too far

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Improvisational Harmonies - Sneak Peek #4

Come and Save Me Tonight

One of the recurring themes in my writing is the redemptive power of love. For it has the power to save us – from life's sorrows, from the consequences of misdeeds, even from our own inner damnation.

It is no surprise that the power ballads of the late '80s and early '90s hold a special place in my heart. For a few years, love songs became in-vogue for the previously asskicking-, sex- and decadence-obsessed hard rock and metal bands, as they sought to spin off into a much greater audience by showing their more sensitive side.

True, the corporate formula of rock song, power ballad, rock song, power ballad became predictable, and an oft-derided component of the hair band era. The recording houses saw that there was a large, undersold-to audience that ate up the power ballads like candy. Correspondingly, every band, new or old, in the scene, had to record them to sell albums.

It was only a matter of time before the market became oversaturated, and the backlash against the record studios began. And that spelled the doom of the hair band.

Fortunately, Aerosmith recorded a few gems during this era – including a song about how the love of a good woman could even save a raunchy old rocker like Steven Tyler.

Of course, I was inspired by it. What self-respecting reformed buttrocker wouldn't have been?

Angel

Drowning,

in my tears,

that's where

you found me.

Without hesitation

you dove in

after me.

I was lost

without a prayer

until that fateful moment

you intervened.

Now,

you're my Angel.

Come and save me

tonight.

Inspired by “Angel” by Aerosmith

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2015, 2017

The End Is Not Near... Yet

After twenty hectic years, it is easy to look at the state of the Union I live in, and feel that the Great Experiment is failing. After all, partisan gridlock has turned our bipartite political system into a morass where it is nearly impossible to accomplish anything of substantive good. Racial tensions are growing, and are now nearly as volatile as they were in the late 80's, or even the 60's. A Nationalist movement is actively seeking to blame racial and cultural elements for our national problems, instead of merely being symptoms of the problems that America faces.

The President of the United States is a polarizing figure that has an even worse public image than most of the politicians he defeated in the ugliest presidential race in living memory. Words like narcissistic and amoral and criminal get thrown around to describe him, and the very outsider persona that helped him win the election now is one of his primary flaws - because he appears to not have any conception of how to parlay majorities in both houses of the U.S. Legislature into a mandate that would allow him to vigorously push his political agenda through.

That is when I take a step back and look around me. Right now, in defiance of the backlash of political and social conservatism, American citizens largely have the right to live their lives as they seek to live. A generation ago, open identification as being homosexual would lead to most communities shunning the individuals so tainted. Now, it is not an unusual thing, to see same-sex couples able to be together in public, sharing their lives in a manner similar to their heterosexual counterparts.

Even with the rioting caused by violence between law enforcement and African-Americans, there is a loud voice in our national fabric that acknowledges that BOTH Black and Police lives matter - that solutions to the ongoing racial issues we face will require both sides to own their actions, both good and bad, instead of demonizing one side of the conflict.

We actively teach our children to take stands against social ills that we used to turn a blind eye towards, even as adults. Bullying is given little tolerance in our children's lives. If only we, as adults, would follow the same advice we give our kids...

The very gridlock that grips our government is also the main obstacle to the President making any truly significant blunders. President Trump may be what so many people say he is, but his ability to make policy unilaterally is severely limited by our system of checks and balances. This system has allowed our country to withstand the mistakes of other leaders, and go on, picking up the pieces afterwards.

Logically, as long as America remains a representative democracy, our country will outlive President Trump's term in office.

I'm not saying that there are not things that are wrong. I'm just saying that I have hope that we will still be around when these issues pass us by...

(c) 2017 Tortured Cyclone

Improvisational Harmonies - Sneak Peek #3

The Romantic's Dream:

The Rose and a Poet's Genesis

For my money, the poignant yearning for love in Bette Midler's voice when she sings “The Rose” is one of the most powerful musical moments in '70s movies. It serves as a counterpoint to the tragic story of the rock star she plays in the film, loosely based on the life of Janis Joplin.

It is a powerful statement of how a larger-than-life figure like a rock star, can feel so isolated and alone, in the middle of their superstardom. As a young singer, of course I added the song to my repertoire as a teenager, and adopted its emotional message as my own. As I grew older, the song's message became a mantra, even as I abandoned the performing arts in the name of subsistence.

It came as no surprise to me that the song eventually inspired my poetry, once I began writing more and more. What did come as a surprise was the desire to attempt writing a new verse for this ballad – having the temerity to put my writing alongside the heart-rending simplicity of Amanda McBroom's original song.

It is up to you to judge how well I did.

The Tease

The Tease


Your game is madness,
trying to dispel your sadness
and hatred of your life,
getting back at he who made you his wife
in ongoing campaigns of marital strife
by playing the game of hearts,
never caring who you tear apart,
hoping from the start
in the digital Sodom
to taste the forbidden
and experience things hidden
from your world of just existing
that seems to be mindless twisting
on the gallows of discontent,
for truth is evident,
this depraved descent
is to find the one
who makes you come undone,
with debauched rites
and possessive fights
and cruel might,
making you a slave
with the gift that you gave,
unknowing, falsely brave,
your happiness buried in an early grave
He showed you how much
by dint of his touch
that you are by so far
the wicked person you think you are.
And those you touch
who aren't good enough
you discard their broken souls,
in your attempts to make your mind whole,
you broke them like pottery bowls
and crushed them under your feet.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017

Then There Was You

It is amazing, in the moment that you meet someone and realize that they fit you like a puzzle piece, One that brings the jigsaw tapestry of life into greater clarity. You mesh so smoothly with them that it is difficult to to say where one ends and the other begins. And so the relationship began...

That is what happened when I met you.

But life is never static, and the complications of our love interfered with our ability to be in contact with each other. Those challenges have become, at times, mammoth - terrifying in their Brobdaginian immensity. The miles that separate us, our duty to others, our contrasting work schedules - these all have stood in the way.

But while falling in love is something that happens to you. Loving someone is a choice, even if it is the only choice. And choosing not to love you is a choice whose consequences I never want to face - for I want you to be a persistent part of my life, as long as we can.

Some things are so precious that you would die for them, if it were necessary. That is what you are to me. Without you in my life, I would be looking at a world that was once two-dimensional, knowing that a third dimension exists because of you, but unable to perceive it any longer.

It is like having the world of sight removed, a few days after you had just gained your vision.

So, I choose you. I love you. I need you.

Lifelong, if not into the next life...

TC

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2017