Thought About Tolerance

Consider this...

If we spent as much time trying  to understand each other as we do, pulling each other down, this world would be a far better place to live in.

We need more tolerance, not more judgment.

A Modern Model for Polyamorous Relationships: How It Can Work...

One of the strongest issues faced by any member of a polyamorous relationship is the strong cultural bias against polyamory in most American-influenced cultures. The American-influenced culture is largely based upon Judeo-Christian morality, which traditionally supports monogamous heterosexual relationships. In this day and age, there are a number of arguments that can be made to support the validity of this alternate relationship model.

One of the models for a polyamorous lifestyle can be found in Robert Heinlein’s novel, Friday. It is the formal “S-Group”. In such a formalized relationship, all adult members of the household enter into a binding contract, a hybridization of marriage contract and corporate agreement. Each member of the household signs the contract when it is made – and detailed within are all of the responsibilities and privileges that adult members of the household gain. The weight each member of the household gains in issues that need to be decided for the household is also delineated therein.

Often, as Heinlein puts it, the S in S-Group is assumed to mean sex. In fact, what the S means is security. This security comes in different forms.

One of the greatest strengths of the S-Group relationship model is the ability to communally pool resources for the betterment of the household. The struggle for financial independence has become more and more difficult, with more households in the customary relationship model of the married couple to be employed in order to provide for the well-being, along with that of any progeny. In an S-Group, greater financial security is a result – due to the increased number of potential contributors to the familial finances.

The security gained from a S-Group is not merely financial, however. As Friday explains, although she had no children, she was able to feel a part of the family (in the S-Group she was in) by playing with the children of the other partners in the group. This sense of being a part of family is comparable to the strong bond that exists within many sprawling extended families. There is always someone there.

Nowhere is this more important than with children. The bond formed by a child to their family is extremely important to their development. Often, in a traditional family arrangement, a child may end up left out, due to one or more adults in the family being preoccupied with their own concerns. Children need attention and nurturing, and the presence of an extended family unit, as shown in Jean Auel’s Earth’s Children books, can be a huge contributor to a child’s well-being. Ayla’s son Durc, even after Ayla is cast out by the Clan, is able to look to many of the members of the Clan for his care. Ayla consoles herself afterwards with the knowledge that her son would have no lack of people to teach him the things he would need to not only survive, but to thrive.

Similarly, in an S-Group arrangement, there are more people around to provide attention and caring to the children. This can help to head off the issues of neglect and parental ignorance that contribute negatively to many children’s formative years.

While the support of an S-Group is strongest for the children, that support is there as well for the adult members of the group. So long as lines of communication are open, the members of the S-Group form a support network for each other. This support can be a key contributor to the well-being of adults.

The contract-based arrangement of an S-Group underscores the seriousness of the relationship, as well. One of the common perceptions of polyamory is that all polyamorous relationships are those in which the partners have license to have intimate encounters with whomever they please, at will, and without consideration for the feelings of their partners. The contractual arrangement stresses the fact that decisions made by any one member of the S-Group have repercussions for all. Whether a polyamorous relationship is exclusive or not, if it is successful, it will always respect that fact just as much as successful traditional marriages do.

I highly recommend that people who are interested in polyamory take a look at Heinlein’s writing, as there are many examples of polyamory sprinkled therein. He also includes some strong exemplars of ethical and moral polyamory.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2005, 2015

Dawn's Legacy

She claims her gaze
turns evil-doers to stone,
but the only stones I see
are the ones she keeps
throwing wildly at me.
I cannot understand
how it is that someone so mad
can remain active on Twitter.
More than six years now,
and over six hundred usernames
she has used in her pursuit
of the rather dubious fame
of being one of the worst
cyber-stalkers in the history
of the Internet game.
How far is too far,
before someone finally stops her,
ending her reign of terror?

© Tortured Cyclone 2015

Mirage or Truth?

So many people
are prone to label
anything online
as being merely lies,
nothing more
than wilful deception,
consensual hallucinations.

Then others dispute
it is a realm
of absolute freedom,
where people can
escape the circumstances
of a world
they never chose,
of a life
they are trapped in.

The reality of
the matter
is that the digital
is a world
same as the physical,
and that realm
has its own laws.

The primary law
of the online realm
is that of malleability,
where the inhabitant
is able to choose
their guise.

Correspondingly,
the online world
is dangerous,
especially for the unwary,
It's filled with
illusions and mirages
in contrast to our
offline world
of concrete, static reality.

Both perceptions
of the online world
are true ones,
and that is the paradox.
It is both
a consensual mirage
and a soul-deep truth.

(c) Tortured Cyclone 2015

Call me a Beast

Bitter is the pain
in my heart tonight
as I am reminded
that there are those
who characterize me
as a predator
upon the weak and vulnerable,
as a fraud
putting on an act,
as someone lying
through my teeth.
My friends, called sycophants,
my Beloved, called fools,
my deeds and words
deemed only camouflage.
My beliefs described
as falsehoods told
to deceive those
that I claim to love.
If I am such a Beast,
then repudiate me,
leave me in peace,
never trouble me again,
for such monsters
as you characterize me to be,
have a dark history
of savaging tormentors.

Done, and Done

You judge me
through every blink,
deeming me a monster
by the words I write.
But you know
less than nothing,
the assumptions you make
are all egregiously wrong,
and the lies you spew
just mark you
as the poisonous creature
you claim to destroy.
Your narrow mind
doesn't permit for diversity,
much less, a different
vision of truth.
I am done with you,
and done with your slanders.
As the Tom Petty song says,
don't come around here no more.

© Tortured Cyclone 2015

The Net - Not So Neutral For Artists?

One of the greatest issues I face, as a Poly man, is the issue of acceptance. I live closeted in the community I reside in, because (even in 2015) the region of the United States I call home is almost as religiously conservative as the Deep South. The online world has become my outlet, for it is the one place that I can truly be myself.

Sadly, the narrow-mindedness of the offline world persists, even in the digital world. On Twitter, there have been recent suspensions of writers who specialize in writing erotica and whose focus is the same as mine. These suspensions thus far have been focused upon nudity in either the header or user avatar, but they are too focused to be a sweep of the entire Twitter community, judging by the proliferation of pornstars and other explicit porn accounts.

This is extremely troubling, as it is another sign of the spectre of censorship that darkens the digital realm. More and more, there is pressure from conservative organizations to "make the Internet safer." For the most part, well-meaning, it nonetheless is the tip of an iceberg that is a grave threat... the creation of a non-neutral 'Net.

Net Neutrality is a hot button topic for many. Something to consider is the fact that the online world is the last bastion of expression for many living in more-repressive offline communities. The infringement upon Net Neutrality raises the precedent of censorship, and that slippery slope can easily lead to tyranny.

Right now, authors of erotica are targeted on Twitter. What's next? A purge of advocacy groups that promote reproductive responsibility? Web pages for the Poly community? How about the groups that strive to protect and promote the LBGT community?

In the meantime, the sex industry continues to expand on the Internet, unmolested by these so-called bastions of decency. Hate groups continue to spread their messages of vitriol and intolerance. And narrow-minded rhetoric paralyzes the government of the oldest representative democracy in the world.

I ask you this: what is more important? Curtailing artistic expression on the Internet, or solving some of the clear and present dangers to the stability and well-being of the entire world? Stifling creativity, or working together to eradicate the offenses against civil rights that persist to this day?

For shame. Target something worthy of being targeted. Allow artists to continue to shine a light into all corners of our world. Even the ones you may not want to admit exist.

© Tortured Cyclone 2015

The Right to Choose

No matter what you choose to believe,
no matter if I agree,
you have the right to do so.
This I defend, from all threats,
because to not do so would be
a betrayal of all I believe.
That doesn't mean I won't try
to change your mind,
if we disagree.
It just means that I respect your right,
indeed, every human being's right,
of self-determination.

© Tortured Cyclone 2015